I woke up one very specific spring morning. My stomach was in butterflies. Today was a big day for me. Today was the day I would push beyond the limits I had set for myself and do something I had never done; run 2 miles WITHOUT STOPPING. The fear of failure filled my heart. I had successfully completed every run thus far on the couch to 5k program and the thought of not being able to do this run scared me. Fear of failure is a powerful thing.. even for something as small as this. But for me, this wasn't small. It was BIG! I got to the gym, did some stretching and began. I went slow and steady, remembering to breathe and focused on the music playing in my ears. "I can do this!" I reminded myself. Then, the 2 mile mark clicked on the treadmill and I slowed to walk. I had did it!! Emotions burst through my heart and I nearly wanted to jump up and down and squeal in that busy gym. Just as soon as I had experienced this amazing feeling of accomplishment, another emotion rushed in.. the feeling of being completely alone. I had no one to share it with. I texted my husband who was at work. He was busy and didn't get my text until much later. I drove home that day excited yet sad that I was experiencing this amazing accomplishment.. alone. When I started my health and fitness journey, I did it solo. I  completed the couch to 5k alone, trained for my first half marathon alone, and even ran my first half marathon among 25,000 other runners alone. Don't get me wrong, my husband has been an amazing support system. Granted he probably thinks I'm completely nuts for aspiring to run a marathon this year. At the end of the day I know he will always support what I do and I love him for that. However, I know that my health and fitness goals are completely up to me. I don't think anyone's feeling would be hurt if I ever laced up my running shoes again. To think of all the time, money and energy I'd save if I quit!

Here's the thing.. I learned very early in this journey that my success was completely up to me. If I relied on the support of others, I would have failed a long time ago. Not because my family and friends don't care.. but because I can't put all my faith and strength in them. I learned early on that my strength needed to come from something far more powerful and far more reliable! Psalms 146:3-5 says, "³ Don’t put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there.  When they breathe their last, they return to the earth, and all their plans die with them. But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God." We can't put all of our hopes and dreams on the ones we love. They are guaranteed to let us down. Not because they want to let us down, but they aren't perfect. Neither are we. We need to get our strength and seek support from the only perfect One.. and that is Jesus Christ. He won't let us down, ever!  With Jesus on our side, we are never alone.

The journey to a happier healthier version of our self is not an easy road and it can often be a lonely one. Not everyone is going to be on the same track as us, but that doesn't mean we can't be successful. Walk boldly towards your goals no matter what your support system looks like. You have a Father in Heaven who is ready and willing to give you everything you need to find success. Look to him FIRST and you will be helped!

The desires of our heart; the little whispers we hear from time to time deep within our heart. A desire to do something that excites you! This something may be a quiet whisper, one that you are afraid to even speak out loud. Maybe the thought seems silly to you or way beyond your reach. Maybe that whisper, isn't a whisper at all. Perhaps it's a desire that you are currently living; something you love and enjoy. Over the past 2 years my life has done a complete 360 and has been an incredible journey of personal growth. I look back to the person I was just a few years ago and wonder how I've gotten to this place and I'm confident it was simply because of the grace of God. This season of my life began with a little whisper in my heart. This tiny whisper that told me I needed to get on a treadmill and run. Now, a little back history... "I DON'T Run" was my mantra. Ha! Are you nuts?! Only crazy people run. Why would anyone do that to themselves?! I was the heaviest I had ever been, I was miserable and SO out of shape, and I had this desire in my heart to RUN?! Ha..   but out of desperation I did it. I took a single step and kept on going. At the time, it was just that.. an "idea" I had that worked out pretty well. Over a span of a year I lost 45lb. Okay.. so it was a pretty good idea. One year later, I prayed a prayer and asked God to use me for His Kingdom. I was driving home from dropping my son off at school and was moved by a song on the radio. Out loud in the car I prayed, little did I know that God  already had plans to use me for his Kingdom and it started with a little whisper to my heart, during the lowest darkest days of my life when he told me to run. Okay, so you are wondering.. "April.. what the heck does a desire for running have to do with God and His Kingdom?" Let me tell you something I learned that has made a HUGE impact in my life. That desire didn't just magically appear.. it wasn't some great idea that I thought up. No. God put that desire in my heart for a reason.

God has put desires in your heart as well; desires to use your gifts, desires to be a certain way, to feel a certain way. Your "Crazy ideas" may not be so crazy after all. The moment that I learned that those desires of my heart came from God was a freeing moment for me. I felt a little more brave.. like it was okay to step out in faith and go for it. Now, here is the important part, you can't leave God out of the equation. He desires to be apart of every step you take towards your goal and this ensures that we are staying on the right track towards achieving those goals. Psalms 37:3-4 says, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, And he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Isn't that powerful?! God is telling us that if we seek him first and follow him, he will give us the desires of our heart! That little whisper.. or that BIG goal that you have, God wants to give it to you. He just wants you to seek Him and trust Him along the way. Matthew 7:7-8 says, "Ask , and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." I love those verses. They excite me and give me hope! God wants to give us the desires of our heart. How amazing is that?!

We are all in a unique place when it comes to our faith, and that is okay! God loves us all equally and doesn't favor some more than others (Acts 10:34-35). No matter where you are in your faith, he wants to help you reach your Big Goals; those desires of your heart. The day I took those first steps on the treadmill, I didn't have it all figured out. I was a mess, but God was still pursuing me. God has this amazing plan for you and it's not to just give you everything your heart desires. He wants a relationship with you, he wants you close to him. When we make a relationship with him a priority by reading his Word, praying to him, and doing what is pleasing to Him, he starts doing amazing things in our life. With God it's not about the destination of achieving our goal, but rather the journey, which requires growing in our faith and slowly becoming the person God wants us to be.

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a teacher! One of my favorite times of the year was the last day of school when we got to bring home all of the left over school supplies from our desk; pencils, crayons, scissors and if I was lucky left over worksheets and assignments that we never got to that year. My sister and I would rush home, lay it all out and play "school". I grew up with a love of paper products and I couldn't think of a better career than that of a teacher. Fast forward 10 years I went away to college to do just that. Life happened, my interests changed and I ended up getting a degree is Psychology with plans of continuing on to be a marriage and family therapist. I've spent a lifetime trying to answer the questions "Who am I?" I've made plans, picked out dream homes and planned out exactly what I wanted my life to look like. It's funny, none of those things have come to pass. As a military wife my "dream home" is one that is affordable, comfortable and close to my husband's job. My plans of a career and education have been put on the back burner by deployments, moves, and family obligations. It's funny though, God has a way of turning a life that may look like a disappointment on the surface to the most incredible and fulfilling journey. We can spend a life time asking the question "Who am I?" but the most powerful answer is right in front of our nose. You are the child of the One True King, the Creator of the world, the Great I AM! You may not be who you think you SHOULD be but when you find out who you are in Christ, you will be more fulfilled and more capable to be the best you possible!

We were not created to live a life of defeat! So many of us battle with feelings of insecurity, self doubt and even depression. We spend a lifetime questioning ourselves and wondering why we can never just "figure it out". Did you know that this is not the plan for us?!  1 Peter 2:9 says "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." When we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior we become His, His "own special people". You are royalty my dear friend, apart of a royal priesthood. Are you living life like you are? There is no room for negative self talk, feelings of inferiority or defeat. Romans 8:31 says "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" There is NOTHING you can't do with God by your side. When you have the King of Kings on your side you are free to throw out all that "yuck" and start living a life full of hope, promise and success!

Today my answer to the question "Who am I?" is a lot different. I am no longer defined by my career choice, the role I play within my family or what others around me say I am. Today my answer is defined by something far greater; Who God says I am! I am a child of God. I am untouchable! It doesn't mean that everything is perfect, but it does mean that no matter what, God is by my side. You have this same opportunity. Don't let defeat rule you. Set your eyes on God and who he says you are and live life like nothing is impossible! Dream big and take chances!

This past Saturday I rolled out of bed as the sun was rising into the morning sky. Mornings have become my favorite time of day. I love the sense of peace in my home, the quiet that only comes with my sweet babies sleeping peacefully in their beds. It's my time to be me and to spend time with God. This morning, I laced up my running shoes, grabbed my fuel belt and headphones and stepped out the door for my long run. It had been 2 solid months since running outdoors and I was a little nervous as to how I would do. I had 6 miles to tackle and I wasn't quite sure how I'd accomplish it. Running can be a challenge, but it's also my therapy. However, this specific run took a turn for the rough early in. I had a difficult time finding my groove, my lungs were burning and my legs felt as heavy as lead. It was in that moment that thoughts started racing through my mind: "April, this is what happens when you don't run outdoors for 2 1/2 months. You are never going to be able to get to where you need to be by race day where you have to run 11 miles. What were you thinking? You can't do this. How do you expect to run a marathon. You can't even run 3 miles. It's not too late to quit. You Can't do this!" Meet my Giant; the Marine Corps Marathon in October 2014. For those who aren't familiar, that is 26.2 miles. I've ran a handful of half marathons (13.1 miles) and knew in my heart it was time to take on a new challenge. A big challenge.. a GIANT challenge. In those moments, as I was struggling to complete the 6 miles, I doubted everything, including my decision to run at all. My giant scares me to death. I have no idea how I will ever run 26.2 miles and I go back and forth between excitement and complete regret for committing to it. **No secrets here!** Something amazing happened to me on my run. In the middle of that run I heard God speaking to my heart. Do you know what he told me? He reminded me that MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANY GIANT! My God is bigger than that race, he's bigger than the obstacles that are inevitable during a season of training. Nothing is impossible with MY GOD! You know what, that was the most amazing reminder! Sometimes we need to be reminded that we aren't alone down here. We don't have to face things alone. Our God is bigger than anything we come up against.

What is your giant? What is the thing that scares you to death? Maybe it's a big goal you have for yourself and you have no idea how you will get there. Maybe your giant isn't fitness related at all. No matter what that giant is, I want to remind you that we don't have to face those giants alone. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Read that verse again, it says ALL things. It doesn't say, just certain things.. it says ALL. For me, that "all" is my marathon in October. No matter what you are facing, no matter how BIG your giant is and how incompetent you feel, you have to stop focusing on how big that giant is and start focusing on how BIG your God is! He will give you the strength, but you have to believe. In Mark 9:23 we see, "Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.". There is that word ALL again. We can do anything my friends, we have the strength to conquer every single giant that is placed in front of us, we simply have to have faith in God and believe that he is there to help us along the way.

When we start trusting in God to guide our way, obstacles are inevitable. The most terrible thoughts of fear and defeat are going to pop into our head. You are going to question yourself and your ability. You are going to get sick, your kids are going to get sick, your car is going to break down.. OBSTACLES. Let me be bold and tell you this, Satan is alive and well in our world and he does NOT want you to be successful. He doesn't want you to conquer your giants. He wants to break you down and make you feel like you are worthless, incompetent and a failure. Just like on my run, he wanted to defeat me, even if it was just one run. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I share this with you so you can be aware of your enemy. You don't have to entertain the negative thoughts that pass through your head or through the mouths of those around you. When you come up against resistance, you remind yourself of who your God is. God is stronger than all of that! You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength. Go out there and live it like you believe it my friends! 

Oh and btw, on Saturday not only was I able to overcome those negative thoughts of defeat and fear, but also ran an extra mile.. finishing strong at 7 miles! If I can do it, so can you! <3

Ahhh.. our comfort zone. It can be the most cozy place, can't it? Our comfort zone is predictable and safe. Overall, we are happy there.  However, it can be a dangerous place because we don't do much growing in our comfort zone. If we aren't careful we can fall into a place that feels like a rut. Our life may become stagnant with us completely unaware. I've spent the majority of my life in the safety net of my comfort zone. Unless I was forced out, I was happy staying exactly where I was. I was living a mediocre life, and if I was honest, I'd have to admit I knew I was missing something, something Big. I simply never did anything about it. It wasn't until the day that I was staring at myself in the mirror, completely miserable with who I was on the inside and out that I knew something had to change. I needed something big to transform my life. My transformation wasn't an overnight event. I didn't wake up one morning with it all figured out, it took weeks, months, even years for me to figure it all out, to put the pieces together. While I was focusing on my outside transformation God was doing something even more amazing inside my heart. On my journey to a healthier happier me, I found Jesus. I mean Truly found him, heart changing, found him! BUT, it took me stepping outside of my comfort zone and leaning on him to achieve it.

Here's the thing, God doesn't intend for us to lead a mediocre life! He wants to do great things THROUGH you and FOR you. He wants you to live this amazing life, where you achieve the desires of your heart. You just have to be brave enough to take those steps. The Bible tells us "
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9  We are told we don't have to be scared, we don't have to stay within our comfort zone. We can get out there, try new things and open up the opportunity to live a life that is fulfilling. Often times we never succeed with our health and fitness goals because we aren't willing to try new things. We keep doing the same things over and over expecting to get different results. If you want something different, you have to do something different! In 1 Timothy 1:7 it says "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.' You can do this! You can achieve the desires of the heart, but you have to be willing to work for it. You have to be willing to make yourself uncomfortable, step out in faith and  trust that God will catch you when you fall. He will pick you up and put you back on your feet. We were not designed to live in fear, we were designed to live a life of power, love, and self control! Isn't that amazing?! Now, go tap into that and make a plan for yourself. How are you going to take that leap and leave your mediocre life behind? What can God do in your life? Trust me... if you trust HIM, you won't be disappointed.

I missed you guys this week as my trusty laptop was, well.. not so trusty and decided to crash on me. Not good for this girl but I'm coming to you from my new shiny computer and happy to be here! This week, I've really been mulling over what I wanted to share with you, praying for the right topic that would reach you and lift you up as you navigate your way to a healthier and happier you and this topic kept coming to mind "Input, Output". So, lets dig in!

My question to you today is what are you putting in your body, mind and spirit? Sure, we can address the foods that we choose and how they affect our body, but I want to dig deeper. There is so much negativity in our world. Our culture puts so much emphasize on beauty and perfection, yet the overall support for one trying to improve their health is often low and full of discouragement. People, whether it's intentional or not, love to tempt us and lead us away from the direction we desire to go. Even worse, we may be told we won't succeed. We may come up against resistance for cooking healthier meals or called "obsessive" for working out daily and enjoying it. This negativity has a huge impact on not only our success, but the way we view ourselves. We have to put a stop to this and we have to surround ourselves with things that are positive, things that will lift us up and give us hope. We need daily encouragement and a constant reminder that we are loved, valued, and strong enough to overcome any obstacle we may face.

Finding a strong support system can be a huge blessing as we work through the daily struggles of weight loss and improved help. Having someone there, cheering you on and being your soft place to fall when you slip up is so comforting and makes a world of difference. However, the only problem with that is that we are putting a lot of faith in someone (or a group of someones) that could easily let us down. It's reality, we are all human, and just like us your support system may come and go as their interests and needs change. But, there is one support system that never fails, one that is never changing and never ending in support and encouragement and that is through Jesus Christ. Psalms 94:18-19 says "When I said “My foot is slipping, your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Isn't that an amazing promise to us? When we feel like we are slipping, when our schedules are crazy and we are tired and feel like we aren't making any progress, our Lord will support us! When we are stressed and having a rough day, we can find peace in knowing that the King of Kings is on our side cheering us on. We also see in Psalms 18:18-19 ^"They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." On our rough days, days where we are feeling week and lacking self control or even self worth, God has made a promise to us that he will give us support, he will rescue us because he loves us! I love the word delighted that is used, what a special word to use towards someone, don't you agree? We are pleasing to God. He delights in us, in all of our mess and mistakes, he still loves us and is ready to scoop us up and rescue us whenever we need it. When's the last time your workout partner did that?! :) 

When the world is falling down around you, when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel on your health and fitness journey, remind yourself that your support system is greater than any obstacle out there. Surround yourself with him, whether it's through listening to Christian music in the car or doing a daily devotional. When you put the word on God in to your mind and spirit, you are going to find the most amazing unfailing support. You will be constantly reminded that when your strength comes from God, Nothing is impossible. Don't let the negativity that surrounds you be the ending factor in your story. Let the triumph that comes from your Lord and God be your success story!