I picked one heck of a time to give up sugar. With the holidays over, I took on the task, like many others, to dump the junk and get back on track. Refocused! I read recently that our brain behaves the same way when we have sugar as we do when we ingest cocaine. Crazy, right? You know, while I've never done cocaine.. sugar, more specifically chocolate, does make me feel pretty good. It can make a bad day just a little better. Feeling down? A brownie sundae can cure that. Probably not the BEST way to handle life, but it's my default, or was. Over the past year I've recognized my dependence on sugar and have come to the realization that I can't just have a little. It's all or nothing for me. So, with the new year I'm in the "nothing" phase again. It's a daily choice and it all honesty I feel better when I'm not enslaved to my cravings. Now... when I was making my new years plans, I didn't take into consideration that my husband would be gone, that I would be doing the single parent thing, that I may be a little overwhelmed and a tad on the lonely side. I've done this separation thing many times, but I've always had my BFF chocolate there with me. It's been my coping mechanism until now. (Seriously, how sad is that?!) So, with no sugar in sight and determined to do this.. I've been doing a little more praying. Praying because it's really all I have right now. I keep reminding God of his promises. He promises to hear my prayers and to comfort me, to sustain me, to fill in my gaps and to give me the strength I need to get through each day.
This morning I woke up rather unmotivated. I got up early because that's what I normally do, but I would have rather slept in. I wasn't looking forward to the day. I just felt blah. Have you ever had one of those mornings? Like you'd rather just climb back in bed and hide? Well, that was me. I opened my bible and ended up in Phillipians 4:8. I was reminded that I need to focus on the good things, on the things that make the smile, on the many blessings in my life. I could sit here all day feeling down, focusing on all the things I can't change or I can focus on the positives. I can choose to have hope for the future and focus on good things or I can wallow in my bad day. As I was praying, asking God to give me joy in the here and now, he spoke directly to my heart and told me that having joy is a choice. I have to choose to have joy. I'll be frank and admit that it would be so much easier if God just gave it to me, if I woke up each day happy and full of joy; a perfect little gift from God. Unforutnatly I'm learning that that's not particularly how it works. We have to do our part and for me, that means changing my perspective and focusing on the good things. When I wake up on mornings like today feeling kinda blah, I can choose to continue on that path, poisoning every area of my day, or I can focus on the positives. I can smile, I can laugh and I can boldly expect God to fill in my gaps and give me the strength to get through another day.
So, on this Monday I'm choosing to have joy. I'm going to smile, love on my babies and make this week a good one. I'm going to focus on the good rather than the bad and lean on God more than I ever have. As much as I feel like I need chocolate I know that there is nothing that can satisfy me more than Him.
