It's 6:35 and I hear the creaking of a door. I hold my breath, which one of my little people is awake already?! I always do a tiny pity party when my boys wake up so early. I sacrifice my own sleep so I can have a few hours in the morning for me. Not to mention, an early wake up means a cranky afternoon. Ugh. So, today it's the little one...not good. It's going to be a rough day. I smile and greet him with a warm hug. It's the mom life.. and these days.. the single mom life. Today the hubs goes off the grid for this special training. No contact at all for an undetermined amount of time. We knew it was coming.. and now it's here. It's the military life and in all honestly, we have truly been blessed with few separations over the past few years. I really can't complain, I have friends that continuously endure much worse. But with any separation there is stress, stress of missing dad, stress of parenting alone and this time.. the stress of having an older son who is old enough to truly understand. He doesn't like it and he doesn't even want to talk about dad because it makes him sad. This is a first for us. It can leave a mom feeling unsettled and unsure, just praying that this season goes by quickly and we can get on to our new normal. It's times like this I wish I was walking along the water near my old house in Virginia. God's presence was so powerful there. There was so much comfort and answers to my many concerns along that waters edge. I wish I had the undeniable reassurance that everything will be okay, that whatever season we are in, no matter what we are going through, it will all work itself out. We all want that, but often times we don't have this booming voice from heaven telling us the good news. Sometimes it's more subtle.
That's what life is like for me these days, little whispers of hope each day, just enough to keep me going and reminding me of God's faithfulness. I'm reminded of the importance of having hope, that even though things may not be exactly how I want them in the moment, I can still hope for a better future. I'm reminded that the struggle is only temporary, but God has a plan for us that is far greater than we could ever imagine. So, today I'm holding on to those little whispers of hope. I'm loving my babies and doing what I can with what I have. I am blessed and loved, what else can I ask for (besides a little less whining..lol)?
