I sit here, fingers on the keys, eager to tell you something that has been on my heart for a long time. I've went back and forth about what to say, how to say it or if I should say it at all. It makes me vulnerable and real and that's not always an easy thing to do. Last month I celebrated my 2nd anniversary as a health and fitness coach. My first year was met with excitement and hope for another year. I met A LOT of my goals in 2014. I reached a rank in my coaching business that most coaches dream to be and my pay check reflected that. I was motivated, dedicated and on fire. All the things us empowered women desire. I was living the dream and staying at home with my kids in the process. Perfect right? Then last summer, I got hurt. What appeared as an injury turned out to be a developmental issue in my spine that I've had all along. It just decided to make it's grand appearance just a few months shy of my 30th birthday. Yay me! So for 6 months I was out, out of my routine, away from my workouts and doing a lot of walking. Nothing is more humbling than training for a marathon and being in the best shape of your life to getting winded on a walk. It was tough and I was angry. Since then, I've gained 10lbs and an entirely new perspective on life and my body. The issue of body image is a tricky one for us women. We can look at our bodies and hate it or we can look at our bodies and worship it in all of it's awesome-ness. The problem is, neither of them are good. Let me explain...

For many women we spend a lifetime looking in the mirror and critiquing what we see. We want to lose weight, tone up...if only... we say...If only I lost 20lbs, if only these thighs would melt away or if only I had ab definition. If our wishes came true our life would be so much better and we could finally love ourselves. The truth is, at least for me, that if only day never came because once I got it, it wasn't enough. I lost 45lbs, had rock hard abs and great legs. I had the body I had always wanted yet it wasn't enough. I still critiqued my body in the mirror and when I wasn't doing that I was spending way to much time admiring my awesome-ness and taking an obscene amount of selfies.  My daily thoughts were consumed with my body; calculating every calorie I put in my body, pushing my body to it's limits, and taking way too many pictures to post on FB to help "motivate" others to do the same. Little did I know that I had found myself on a slippery slope. What started off as a healthy goal turned into me on some crazy train. When I thought I was moving straight towards my goals, I was in fact getting further and further away from the things that mattered most. Somewhere along the way I had made myself my own god, one that was separating me from where I really wanted to be. The sad thing is, is that I didn't even realize it. It took me getting hurt and sick and whatever that season of my life was to realize that I was way off target. I had been consumed by the health and fitness industry and thankfully God loved me enough to send me a wake up call; a wake up call to remind me that there are more important things going on around me than that image in the mirror and some crazy goal I set for myself.

I will say that this blog post and my message will not be a popular one, especially among my peers. We are living in a society that is overweight, so naturally we want to promote health and fitness. As a health and fitness coach, we want to inspire others to finally take those steps to being healthy. However, I think there is an entire culture of women that have taken things to the extreme, where they are making incredible sacrifices, going "ALL IN", depriving themselves all for the sake of an image in the mirror (or even better on Facebook.. to show all of you!) I find myself wondering where is the balance? Where is the woman that is healthy but also goes for pizza on Friday night? Where is the woman that takes care of her body but doesn't beat herself up if she misses a few workouts because she's traveling or because she's sick? I don't know about you but I want to be inspired by that woman. I want to follow the woman that invests in her family and herself. I want to follow the woman that is real. I've been the extreme. I've lived the life and reached the goals and I found it unrewarding. I found a marriage that was stressed and a home that lacked the peace it once had, peace brought by a woman who had balance and gave herself a little more grace.

Now, let me clarify, I am NOT saying it's wrong to have goals and to totally rock your workouts. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to motivate others by your awesomeness. I just want to send you, my beautiful friends, a gentle message that it's okay not to be extreme. In a culture that says you have to have a smoken hot body, please know it's okay to just be happy with who you are. It's okay to live a life of balance. As a health and fitness coach, I encourage you to focus on your health by staying active and putting healthy foods in your body. However, the new me also encourages you to go for ice cream with your children on a Saturday night or leave your running shoes at home on your weekend getaway with your husband so you can enjoy those morning snuggles a little longer. As women, lets lead a balanced life where it's okay to be real, where  we focus on our health but it's not our ONLY focus. As Jesus girls, lets not let our bodies become our god. Instead lets pray a little more, rely on Him a little more and give ourselves a little extra grace because heaven knows at the end of the day we all need it.