Archive for June 2015

True Beauty

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I love summer. I love sleeping in a little later, camping, roasting smores over the campfire, fun day trips, watching my kids ride their bikes back and forth down our street and even the sweet smell of the grass as the sun sets on another hot day. I can almost feel the memories being made by my sweet boys, the way I did as a young girl. Summer can be a fun and magical time, unless your a mom and it's pool time. Everything about summer is great, until it's time to slip on that swimsuit or even worse go out and buy a new swimsuit. It can bring some anxiety and stir up some insecurities that we didn't even know we had. Many moms brave the pool or lake side with a pull over, shorts or towel around their waist. Some don't even do it at all, they simply refuse to get in one. I recently went through the experience of buying another swimsuit. I needed one that I felt comfortable taking a group of boys to the pool with, one with some modesty, that stayed on despite tugs from my little guy and yet somehow didn't make me look like an old maid. The anxiety of the experience still wells up in me as I think back. If you've looked at the swimsuit racks lately, you know what I'm talking about. I find myself wondering, who actually designs these swimsuits and most importantly who labels them with the appropriate size?! It's like they are on a mission to lower the self esteem of women all over the country. After a short 15 minutes in the dressing room I can admit that their mission was accomplished. Even though I found one that was acceptable, I left filling beat up. The thing is, even when I was my fittest and thinnest I still felt that way. I realized that there wasn't anything wrong with my body but everything wrong with the swimsuits on those racks. I chose then to not lot a piece of fabric define me and you shouldn't either. 

Ive spent a lot of time standing in front of the mirror critiquing myself over the years. I could make a list a mile long of all the things I wished I could do better or ways I could look better. I don't know when this happened, at what point as a young girl did I stop loving myself for who I was and started wishing I was better. I can blame the media and all those Victoria Secret swimsuit catalogs I used to flip through for this but at the end of the day I think it goes so much deeper. At one point I had to ask myself: Are the things I'm saying to myself true or lies coming to me from the enemy? The last time I checked my bible didn't say anything about me not being enough or me being fat or unworthy. In fact, my bible says quite the opposite. It says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14), that I shine like stars in the sky (Phil 2:15), that I am victorious (Romans 8:37).  I don't know about you but I'm tired of living by the lies that I'm not good enough. Do I look like the supermodels in that catalog, of course not, but at the end of the day does that really matter? My value goes way beyond any swimsuit and as a believer in Christ I am flawless in the eyes of my Creator. 

I made a promise to myself recently that I would no longer stand in front of the mirror and beat myself up or allow myself to believe the lies that so easily slip in. I had to remind myself that I have a choice. It's up to me and I'm choosing the freedom that comes from the truth. I'm choosing to take care of this body I've been blessed with and let that be enough, even if it doesn't produce a Victoria Secret body. I am beautiful and so are you, no matter what those lies have said or what the reflection in the mirror says. My dear friend, as those swimsuits come out I encourage you to remind yourself of your true value and beauty and stop the lies before they settle in your heart. Slip on that swimsuit with pride and enjoy yourself. You are beautiful, just the way you are.



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Hide and Seek

Monday, June 8, 2015

I love our new home here in the Midwest. Last night my husband and I sat on the front porch. A cool breeze was blowing in and we both admitted it's peaceful here. Each day here I am reminded of God's faithfulness and love and often hear His whisper "trust Me". Those two words have not always been so easy to hear. Life isn't always so peaceful. Actually, moments like last night are often the calm after the storm, the cool breeze that comes after a dark and treacherous storm. Last night, we saw the most beautiful double rainbow, a rainbow that stretched from start to beginning, vibrant in color and so clear. God's promise and a whisper..."Trust me". 

The truth is, I've been hiding from you. Okay, not you specifically. I love you. I've been hiding from social media and the constant pull to be engaged with a phone, computer or tablet. I've been hiding from my inbox, my email and... my coaching business. In December I made a very tough decision to step away from it all temporarily. My family was entering into a challenging season and I knew they needed me. I argued with God for months. I knew it was what I needed to do, what I should do, but it was hard to let go of something that I had made my god. My coaching business was my everything. I lived and breathed Beachbody and "the cause". I wanted to help others and inspire them to do great things. I told myself it was all for them but really, it had become all about me. I didn't see that in December. I saw everything crashing down if I stepped away. Yet through it all, I heard a whisper.."Trust Me". It's been 5 months since then. I'm not sure how the time has passed so quickly yet the days have come and went and slowly but surely the emails and messages are coming in. I didn't think my absence would be noticed, but the messages and emails have sincerely touched my heart. Friends, wondering where I've been. My answer: I'm here, just stepping away for a bit. 

I've written this blog post 5 times now. Five times I've tried to put this into words and it never comes together. Maybe it's not supposed to but nevertheless I've learned a lot of things over the past 5 months. I've learned that there is so much peace that comes when you stop letting social media consume your life, when you truly invest your time into your husband, children and friends. I've learned that there is no substitute for face to to face friendships and that there is value in not running myself ragged every day trying to meet a standard that is impossible to meet. Most importantly, I've learned that even though my idea of what "success" looks like may be different than others, that is okay. God has an amazing plan for me. I don't know what that is yet, but I do know it began when he told me to step away and I said "okay". Stepping away from my coaching business and the fast paced life that I once knew and loved hasn't been easy and daily I question what is next BUT God has been faithful. His answer to my questions still remains.."stay put" and "trust me".. so that is what I'm doing. I'm putting Him first these days, even if that means staying put in a season of waiting. I'm seeking Him above all else and praying.

I know I'm not the only one that feels consumed by social media and the pull to be present at all times. I don't know when this shift happened in our culture but it sure is a powerful one. There is this need to be seen and heard, to feel loved and known. We sacrifice face to face time with the ones we love for the pull of our social media newsfeeds. We spend more time taking the perfect picture to post to Facebook than actually enjoying the perfect moment. We put all this STUFF above everything else when true peace and satisfaction is often found in the calm of doing nothing. We live in a society that frowns upon the concept of "doing nothing". We constantly have to be busy, doing something, going going going... but what if we didn't? What if we took time each day to silence all those electronics and do nothing? I've found that God's whispers are the loudest when I silence everything else. There is peace in the calm, even if it's for 10 minutes. I'm still in the process of figuring things out but this all began when I asked myself what success for me truly looked like. Today I encourage you to be brave enough to ask yourself..."What does success look like to ME?" then boldly move in that direction. Don't go in the direction everyone else wants you to go.. but rather move in the direction you know in your heart is the right way to go. Life is so short. We can fill it with moments that make it worth living or moments that simply make us look good to others out is cyberland. It's up to us!We choose. We make our choices and then our choices make us. My choices these days are looking a little different but that hasn't changed my heart. Please know I"m still here and I still care. I'll be back, just in a better more intentional way. :) I love this new song by Lauren Daigle...pretty much sums things up these days.

Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
Before I lift my cares
I will lift my arms
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
And seek You, First

I wanna seek You
I wanna seek You ,First
I wanna keep You
I wanna keep You, First
More than anything I want, I want You First
- First by Lauren Daigle

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