I love our new home here in the Midwest. Last night my husband and I sat on the front porch. A cool breeze was blowing in and we both admitted it's peaceful here. Each day here I am reminded of God's faithfulness and love and often hear His whisper "trust Me". Those two words have not always been so easy to hear. Life isn't always so peaceful. Actually, moments like last night are often the calm after the storm, the cool breeze that comes after a dark and treacherous storm. Last night, we saw the most beautiful double rainbow, a rainbow that stretched from start to beginning, vibrant in color and so clear. God's promise and a whisper..."Trust me". 

The truth is, I've been hiding from you. Okay, not you specifically. I love you. I've been hiding from social media and the constant pull to be engaged with a phone, computer or tablet. I've been hiding from my inbox, my email and... my coaching business. In December I made a very tough decision to step away from it all temporarily. My family was entering into a challenging season and I knew they needed me. I argued with God for months. I knew it was what I needed to do, what I should do, but it was hard to let go of something that I had made my god. My coaching business was my everything. I lived and breathed Beachbody and "the cause". I wanted to help others and inspire them to do great things. I told myself it was all for them but really, it had become all about me. I didn't see that in December. I saw everything crashing down if I stepped away. Yet through it all, I heard a whisper.."Trust Me". It's been 5 months since then. I'm not sure how the time has passed so quickly yet the days have come and went and slowly but surely the emails and messages are coming in. I didn't think my absence would be noticed, but the messages and emails have sincerely touched my heart. Friends, wondering where I've been. My answer: I'm here, just stepping away for a bit. 

I've written this blog post 5 times now. Five times I've tried to put this into words and it never comes together. Maybe it's not supposed to but nevertheless I've learned a lot of things over the past 5 months. I've learned that there is so much peace that comes when you stop letting social media consume your life, when you truly invest your time into your husband, children and friends. I've learned that there is no substitute for face to to face friendships and that there is value in not running myself ragged every day trying to meet a standard that is impossible to meet. Most importantly, I've learned that even though my idea of what "success" looks like may be different than others, that is okay. God has an amazing plan for me. I don't know what that is yet, but I do know it began when he told me to step away and I said "okay". Stepping away from my coaching business and the fast paced life that I once knew and loved hasn't been easy and daily I question what is next BUT God has been faithful. His answer to my questions still remains.."stay put" and "trust me".. so that is what I'm doing. I'm putting Him first these days, even if that means staying put in a season of waiting. I'm seeking Him above all else and praying.

I know I'm not the only one that feels consumed by social media and the pull to be present at all times. I don't know when this shift happened in our culture but it sure is a powerful one. There is this need to be seen and heard, to feel loved and known. We sacrifice face to face time with the ones we love for the pull of our social media newsfeeds. We spend more time taking the perfect picture to post to Facebook than actually enjoying the perfect moment. We put all this STUFF above everything else when true peace and satisfaction is often found in the calm of doing nothing. We live in a society that frowns upon the concept of "doing nothing". We constantly have to be busy, doing something, going going going... but what if we didn't? What if we took time each day to silence all those electronics and do nothing? I've found that God's whispers are the loudest when I silence everything else. There is peace in the calm, even if it's for 10 minutes. I'm still in the process of figuring things out but this all began when I asked myself what success for me truly looked like. Today I encourage you to be brave enough to ask yourself..."What does success look like to ME?" then boldly move in that direction. Don't go in the direction everyone else wants you to go.. but rather move in the direction you know in your heart is the right way to go. Life is so short. We can fill it with moments that make it worth living or moments that simply make us look good to others out is cyberland. It's up to us!We choose. We make our choices and then our choices make us. My choices these days are looking a little different but that hasn't changed my heart. Please know I"m still here and I still care. I'll be back, just in a better more intentional way. :) I love this new song by Lauren Daigle...pretty much sums things up these days.

Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
Before I lift my cares
I will lift my arms
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
And seek You, First

I wanna seek You
I wanna seek You ,First
I wanna keep You
I wanna keep You, First
More than anything I want, I want You First

- First by Lauren Daigle