I read recently that you have to live something before you can successfully write about it. I found that to be powerful and so accurate. The words have been slow to come for me but now I understand that I had to do some living before I could really share. I had to gain wisdom that only comes from going through the trenches and coming back out the other side. Over the past year I've found this to be particularly so in regards to my body image and how I feel about myself when I look in the mirror and even more so when I step on the scale. I can safely say I've been in a major slump when it comes to my fitness routine over the past year. Leaving behind my coaching community took away that structure and accountability. I went through  some major life changes with a move, a new home and a new way of life and making me a priority became harder and harder. I no longer enjoyed running or working out. It became a chore, one I forced myself to do about once a week. I gained some weight and all I could think about was were I had been. I was on top of my game.. I was the thinnest and fittest I'd ever been. I had a 6 pack for goodness sake! I found myself wondering how I'd gotten so far off track and wondered if I'd ever get back there. Then one day I had a Aha! moment... one that caused a complete shift in my thinking: Even at my thinnest I still wasn't happy with myself. I've been unhappy with my body at every weight, at every age. There was nothing wrong with my body, it was my mind that needed the makeover. 

I let that thought sink deep into my soul and vowed I would stop beating myself up for everything that I wasn't. I needed to eliminate the lies and negative self talk I told myself each day and begin seeing myself through new eyes. I wanted to see myself the way my Father in heaven sees me.. even if I wasn't sure exactly what that was. I just knew that God loved me and if He could love me right where I am, it was possible for me to love myself as well, flaws and all. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." We are taught in the Bible that we don't have to entertain or believe every thought that comes into our mind. We can take unhealthy thoughts captive and kick them out before they settle deep within our hearts, so that's exactly what I started to do. It wasn't easy and I can honestly say I still struggle daily, but each morning when I look in the mirror and am tempted to tear myself apart for all the things I'm not I refuse to go there. I remind myself that I am loved for exactly who I am and then move on with my day. I refuse to stand on that scale or spend unnecessary time critiquing myself in the mirror. My beauty and everything that makes me who I am isn't defined by a number or reflection. It's defined by who I am in Christ and THAT is what I'm learning is enough for me. 

Is this easy? Absolutely not. It's taken me a long time to get to a place where I even feel comfortable sharing. BUT.. I can honestly say that practicing this, day in and day out is helping. I feel more peace and have been able to slowly loosen the chains of a unhealthy body image. I read something recently in my bible study class that was a great tool for this. It's called the 30 second rule (Adapted from Ron Carpenter, Relationship Builder: 30 second rule). It says that it's scientifically proven that when we have a thought enter our minds we have about 30 seconds to address it before our feelings start to set in. After the 30 seconds have passed we are likely to develop a relationship with that thought. We can become emotionally invested and that's how these cycles of negative self talk can get out of hand.  

So how do we stop this cycle? We stop entertaining these lies. We address the issue before it settles into our hearts. We CHOOSE to kick out these negative thoughts before we start believing (and obsessing over them). My sweet friends, the enemy doesn't want us feeling victorious (Romans 8:37) and he definitely doesn't want us shining bright for Jesus (Matthew 5:14). His scheme is to break us down so we don't feel worthy enough to do what we are called to do. I struggle with this and I know many of you do too. Today lets not forget who we are, lets take those negative thoughts captive and decide each day that we are greater than the negative voice inside our head.