I sit here, fingers on the keys, eager to tell you something that has been on my heart for a long time. I've went back and forth about what to say, how to say it or if I should say it at all. It makes me vulnerable and real and that's not always an easy thing to do. Last month I celebrated my 2nd anniversary as a health and fitness coach. My first year was met with excitement and hope for another year. I met A LOT of my goals in 2014. I reached a rank in my coaching business that most coaches dream to be and my pay check reflected that. I was motivated, dedicated and on fire. All the things us empowered women desire. I was living the dream and staying at home with my kids in the process. Perfect right? Then last summer, I got hurt. What appeared as an injury turned out to be a developmental issue in my spine that I've had all along. It just decided to make it's grand appearance just a few months shy of my 30th birthday. Yay me! So for 6 months I was out, out of my routine, away from my workouts and doing a lot of walking. Nothing is more humbling than training for a marathon and being in the best shape of your life to getting winded on a walk. It was tough and I was angry. Since then, I've gained 10lbs and an entirely new perspective on life and my body. The issue of body image is a tricky one for us women. We can look at our bodies and hate it or we can look at our bodies and worship it in all of it's awesome-ness. The problem is, neither of them are good. Let me explain...

For many women we spend a lifetime looking in the mirror and critiquing what we see. We want to lose weight, tone up...if only... we say...If only I lost 20lbs, if only these thighs would melt away or if only I had ab definition. If our wishes came true our life would be so much better and we could finally love ourselves. The truth is, at least for me, that if only day never came because once I got it, it wasn't enough. I lost 45lbs, had rock hard abs and great legs. I had the body I had always wanted yet it wasn't enough. I still critiqued my body in the mirror and when I wasn't doing that I was spending way to much time admiring my awesome-ness and taking an obscene amount of selfies.  My daily thoughts were consumed with my body; calculating every calorie I put in my body, pushing my body to it's limits, and taking way too many pictures to post on FB to help "motivate" others to do the same. Little did I know that I had found myself on a slippery slope. What started off as a healthy goal turned into me on some crazy train. When I thought I was moving straight towards my goals, I was in fact getting further and further away from the things that mattered most. Somewhere along the way I had made myself my own god, one that was separating me from where I really wanted to be. The sad thing is, is that I didn't even realize it. It took me getting hurt and sick and whatever that season of my life was to realize that I was way off target. I had been consumed by the health and fitness industry and thankfully God loved me enough to send me a wake up call; a wake up call to remind me that there are more important things going on around me than that image in the mirror and some crazy goal I set for myself.

I will say that this blog post and my message will not be a popular one, especially among my peers. We are living in a society that is overweight, so naturally we want to promote health and fitness. As a health and fitness coach, we want to inspire others to finally take those steps to being healthy. However, I think there is an entire culture of women that have taken things to the extreme, where they are making incredible sacrifices, going "ALL IN", depriving themselves all for the sake of an image in the mirror (or even better on Facebook.. to show all of you!) I find myself wondering where is the balance? Where is the woman that is healthy but also goes for pizza on Friday night? Where is the woman that takes care of her body but doesn't beat herself up if she misses a few workouts because she's traveling or because she's sick? I don't know about you but I want to be inspired by that woman. I want to follow the woman that invests in her family and herself. I want to follow the woman that is real. I've been the extreme. I've lived the life and reached the goals and I found it unrewarding. I found a marriage that was stressed and a home that lacked the peace it once had, peace brought by a woman who had balance and gave herself a little more grace.

Now, let me clarify, I am NOT saying it's wrong to have goals and to totally rock your workouts. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to motivate others by your awesomeness. I just want to send you, my beautiful friends, a gentle message that it's okay not to be extreme. In a culture that says you have to have a smoken hot body, please know it's okay to just be happy with who you are. It's okay to live a life of balance. As a health and fitness coach, I encourage you to focus on your health by staying active and putting healthy foods in your body. However, the new me also encourages you to go for ice cream with your children on a Saturday night or leave your running shoes at home on your weekend getaway with your husband so you can enjoy those morning snuggles a little longer. As women, lets lead a balanced life where it's okay to be real, where  we focus on our health but it's not our ONLY focus. As Jesus girls, lets not let our bodies become our god. Instead lets pray a little more, rely on Him a little more and give ourselves a little extra grace because heaven knows at the end of the day we all need it.

Facebook is an interesting thing. It's a great place to keep in touch with old friends, make new ones and waste a little time (errr... a lot of time). Its the perfect setting to encourage others and lift them up or break people down and be brutally hateful.  It's interesting to see the posting trends of people, whether it's the debate over vaccinations, politics or even movie choices. We all have an opinion and it's the ideal soapbox for what we have to say. I also find it interesting how each person's Facebook newsfeed is unique to them. When I happen to catch my husband's newsfeed on my computer rather than my own. I see a heavy dose of news stations, UFC updates and a balanced mixture of gun posts and pictures of incredibly expensive Jeeps. It suits him quite well. Mine isn't so exciting. I have a lot of mamas, health and fitness enthusiasts and Christian inspiration. It reflects me pretty well until a debate comes along. Mamas and Christians can go from wonderfully delightful people to very judgmental and condemning, just being real here. It makes me tempted to just close things down and politely remove myself from the party. Why do we have to be this way? Why do we have to judge and condemn others because we don't see things the same way as they do? It's human nature I suppose...

I read an article yesterday about Katy Perry. It said that before the Superbowl she tweeted a bible verse and then said she heard God whisper to her heart "You got this..." If you know anything about Katy Perry you know that she grew up Christian. Her father is currently a pastor of a church. Well, the uproar of the Christian community was ridiculous. Many were not supportive of the fact that a delinquent such as Katy Perry would hear God's voice, not to mention encouraging her right before she went on stage to sing "I kissed a girl and I liked it". You should have read the condemnation and judgement that was being passed along through text. It was a train wreck I couldn't look away from. I get it, She's not the most sound role model and is possibly living a life with some sin in it. But who the heck isn't?! That's what I want to talk about today...

For many of us Jesus girls, we know what is right or wrong because we are reading our bibles. We pray for others, maybe go to church and do our best to be kind and a light to others. We know it's wrong to lie, steal and cheat.. and to kiss and girl and like it.. (haha). It's EASY to feel like we have it all together compared to others and that OUR sin is not on the same level as others, especially Katy Perry. I get it. It's EASY to judge, but it's also VERY easy to turn people away from Jesus and His good news by our condemnation and judgmental attitudes. Why would anyone want to be a Christian if it meant acting that way? We have to be careful my fellow Jesus girls. We have to be very careful. If we truly want to be a light to others, we need to shine a light of love. Do we have to agree with everything everyone does? Absolutely not, but we should above everything else love others with our words and actions. 1 Peter 4:8 says, "And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." I believe that Jesus meets us right in our mess. He comes to us in the trenches but loves us enough to not leave us there. He takes our hand and leads us out of the darkness. BUT.. for anyone that has ever been in the trenches, you know that coming into the light and the walk that we take with Jesus doesn't happen overnight. It's a process, often times a very slow process. It's little seeds that are planted that bloom overtime. So, shouldn't we as Christians give love and enough grace to let GOD do HIS part? Shouldn't we entrust our fellow mamas and friends to the hands of our Creator and let him do what He does best? I don't know if God spoke to Katy Perry or not. I don't know if He's working in her life, but I do know that Jesus loves her. I do know that he loves ALL of us sinners, equally the same. I know He loves the mamas that choose the vaccinate and the mamas that don't. I know he loves that girl that went to see 50 Shades of Grey and the one that stayed home. I know he loves the girl that kisses other girls and the one that doesn't. We don't have to agree with what others do, but we are called to love them. So, lets stop judging others. Lets be a light that reflects Christs' love, even if they aren't living the life we think they should. And most importantly, lets stop making it about us vs. them. The enemy is very sneaky. He wants to turn us against each other. Today, lets decide to love despite our differences. Lets give others enough grace to led God do His work in them.  Today lets let God be God because He is the only one that can change people.

Today is the morning of my husband's military graduation. It's been a grueling 5 weeks for him and a very lonely and challenging 5 weeks for the boys and I. As I type this, 5 weeks sounds like nothing. As a military wife, 5 weeks IS nothing. We see our guys come and go and we miss them, but life is life and it continues. We stay busy and before we know it we are welcoming them back into our arms. This time has been very different. As I prepare to watch my husband graduate and celebrate his incredible accomplishment, I can't help but look back over the past 5 weeks and just feel worn and just plain ol' tired. I can safely say my husband feels the same way, probably much more so. We've made it to graduation day and I am praising God for his never ending faithfulness. During  these five weeks He has shown up. He has given me what I needed daily to get to this point and has continuously reminded me of his unconditional love for me and my family. We have seen prayers answered and blessing beyond those prayers given. I asked God to show up big in our lives and He did.

Last night as I layed next to my husband for the first time in way too long, I found myself worrying about the next step. This is just the half way point for us. We have another six plus weeks ahead of us, this time I'll be carrying the load as I transition me and the boys to our new home and take on the task of unpacking our household goods while juggling the mommy life and homeschooling. I know I can do it and last night I was reminded of that. In the darkness and among my prayers, God whispered this verse to my heart, "You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, Shall revive me again, And bring me up again from the depths of the earth. You shall increase my greatness, And comfort me on every side." Psalm 71:20-21. The word revive sticks out so boldly to me in this verse. The word revive means to give new strength or energy to. I don't know about you, but it times of struggle I yearn to be revived, to be given a new strength, to have more energy, to be refreshed. This has been God's promise to me since the day we began this transition and today I look forward to the next step. This morning I am comforted and at peace. God's got this. No need to worry.

I know that the military life is a strange concept for some, there are so many weird acronyms, customs and courtesies.. and why in the world would anyone want to move every 2-3 years?! You may not get it and that's okay. I don't even get it some days, but I think no matter what, we can all agree that sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we come up against obstacles and go through transitions that challenge our inner most beings. We wonder if we'll make it through to the other side as we anxiously pray and hope for just enough strength to get to the next day. Military or civilian, it's human struggle that we all have in common. So whether you are in the middle of a struggle, going through your own transition or even sailing the calm blue seas, my prayer for you today is that you find peace in God's promise you to. God will see you through to the other side. He will not only get you there but He will revive you, restore you and comfort you along the way. There is no need to worry. Let Him be the source of your strength and watch him doing amazing things in YOUR life. Today is a great day!

In woke up this morning in the crisp linens of a hotel right off the interstate in Mississippi. I snuck out of the room, not to disturb the boys, for a quick cup of coffee in the hotel lobby. Ahhh... I love my early mornings.  As I walked by the front doors of the hotel a man walked in and was greeted by the staff, "Good Morning, Sir! How are you today?" He responded with this: "Ma'am, I am blessed! I woke up this morning. God is good!" I couldn't help but smile. As I walked back to my room, I found myself thinking, "I wish I was that bold when it came to my faith." As a Christian we are told that we are the light of the world. We are to let our light shine out into the world, leading others to Christ. So, as I sat here enjoying my coffee I couldn't help but feel a little convicted. When was the last time I let my light shine? In the daily grind of motherhood and my current single mom life (not for much longer, yay!), am I being that beacon of light to others? Matthew 5:14-16 says, "You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine so before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." As I sit here, I have to admit that I have taken my shining lamp and put it under a basket. It's not that it's not glowing, if anything it has never shined brighter, but who can see it if I'm hiding it? In the midst of homeschooling and living in this transition period with family, I've unintentionally put away the very gifts that God has given me. I've been missing so many beautiful opportunities to shine for Christ simply because I'm too busy or "just not feelin'" it.

Each morning when I wake up and open my bible, I pray that God speaks to me through His Word. I find myself searching for the message he wants me to receive for that day. Some days, It's simply His peace knowing that He is there with me, through the craziness of life. Then other times, it's much for bold. It's the undeniable message that he doesn't want me to miss, like this morning. I find myself wondering who else out there is hiding their shining light under a basket? The people that passionately love God but because of the busyness of life forget to be that light on the hill. Yes it takes a little more effort, but what if we all shined our lights a little brighter? What if we encouraged others more, stood in the gap for those in need, and used the gifts that our Father in Heaven gave us to lead others to Christ? What a beautiful picture that would be.  I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm a far cry from that, but today I was reminded of something so important. What's the point of being a Christian if we aren't living the life boldly, loving others and pointing them to the One that is the source of our everything? Today I want to change that.  I am blessed. I woke up this morning, with a new perspective. God IS good!