It's a good idea to take a before picture before you start a new workout program. Not only does it help you have a visual of the progress you are making, it reminds you of where you started from. I wish I could take a different kind of before picture. A before picture that captures the very essence of who I am in different stages of life, my likes and dislikes, the health of my relationships and the overall well being of my spirit. It would be fun to look back over the years and see how far we've come, how we've grown and the lesson's we've learned. For some, this would be a fun thing.. we'd see the progress we made, the growth and we'd be able to overlook the bad to see the sunshine on the other side. For others, it may not be so easy. It would be like the before weight loss pic that you took before you slipped back into old habits. The picture would reflect little or no change, or perhaps a further decline. I've had a lot of years like that. Where I come out of the year lucky that I survived, a little more banged up, caring more burdens and possibly some ache from bad decisions. It's life. There is a season for everything and unfortunately, some years are better than others. It's life. We make our decisions and then our decisions make us. It's how life works.
So, as I sit here on this day of Thanksgiving, I'm reflecting on my year. It's been a tough year for me. It's been a year of serious growth and when I say growth, I mean one challenge after another. I've been sick, injured and heart broken. I lost who I was and I've had to do some repairing on my relationships. My bad decisions of LAST year followed me to 2014, which is where the sowing occured. 2014 has been a year of repairing. Yet as I sit here, I don't feel bruised, beat up or bitter. My heart is full, full of joy and peace. I have endured some not so awesome times, but the refining process has brought me to this place that is far better than the girl I was in my before picture.
I had this little Aha! moment recently. As I was doing a little reflecting I recalled the drive home from visiting family for Christmas in 2013. My family and I were on our way back home. A new year was on the horizon and I was dreaming big! As we drove down the interstate I made my list of new year's goals. The year held so much possiblity. A new song came on the radio called Oceans by Hillsong. Those words penetrated my soul and I prayed these words:
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Ha! Let me just say, be careful what you pray for.. it may just happen. Apparently "trust without borders" and "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander" were prayers I probably should have thought through better. But God knew my heart, he knew my desire to be better and be more was real. He had a plan and I was willing. He pursued me and kept me on task, even if that meant allowing some things to slow me down and help me refocus on what was most important. I'm where I am today because of God's faithfulness. Through the ups and downs, he was right there beside me, giving me what I needed when I needed it. He has ignited a fire within me that is far greater than anything I've had on my own and I am moving into a new year with hope and peace; hope for a great year and peace to accept that no matter what happens God will be with me.
So, as we celebrate this day with loved ones, whether they are present or in our hearts, lets be thankful. Lets be thankful for all the good in our life and for all the trials that have refined us along the way. Lets be thankful that we have a father in heaven that will never leave us or forsake us and loves us unconditionally. No matter what that before picture looks like for you.. lets be thankful for all the blessings in our life, big and small. Lets look toward the new year with hope and peace. Hopeful for a good year and peaceful that no matter what, God is by our side. Be blessed my dear friends and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!